overload

A few posts back, I posted about the gingerbread I made. I made quite a few gingerbread boys and what turned into 3 large delapidated gingerbread tenements. I was planning to decorate the houses before my son's 5 th birthday party, but the gingerbread boys were the "activity" at the party.

We have been so busy, that I never had the energy to get the houses done. My kids would ask and mommy would say, "no, not tonight. maybe tomorrow." Then it turned into "next week" then it turned into "Alex's party." One house got decorated at the party. The other 2 we ended up taking them to Alex's pre-school for them to decorate. That was 2 fold in its purpose: 1) to get the darn gingerbread out of our house and 2) to get the accompanying candy out of the house!

You see, being somewhat of a candy lover, I went a bit overboard. I think I bought somewhere close to $40 in bulk candy to do said decorations. That included 2 trips where I had to replace what we had eaten and buy things I forgot - like candy canes.

Being a candy lover, that was all I could think of for quite a while. I would think about it when I was on my way home from work: "I wonder which one I will eat tonight?" and then when I was at home eating it, I would have a few and then return for a few more and a few more. (I'm sure you know the drill.) I don't think I ever ate the entire bag of what I had bought, but I sure ate too much anyway.

I ate so much that today my weight was 175. That's up 3 lbs. I'm not impressed. But I am grateful that I made myself get on the scale even though I didn't want to. I need to know that my actions have consequences. I am also glad that I cannot eat with impunity. Even though I had surgery, and it will change some aspects of my eating for ever, from now on, I am mainly a normal sized person controlling her weight. What I eat does matter. Because my job is so active, I can eat more than if I was sedentary, but my job doesn't erase multiple trips to the pantry.

So, anyway, we took the extras to the preschool. But, they didn't use all the candy. So then we got it back. Today my husband suggested we take it to work. Posties will eat junk food like no tomorrow. I took it in this afternoon before my overtime shift.

I have to admit this sad truth: I am sad that I don't have any here to eat. Why did I have to take it to work already? If I had left it until tomorrow, I could have a snack tonight. Logically I know it is much better that it is at work, but emotionally, I want it here. I want it now! And knowing that it is not accessible makes me think about what else I can substitute for it. Anything with sugar will do.

Stay off the sidewalk!

Yesterday I took a class to get my vehicle operator's permit for Canada Post. The class covered some interesting material, but what is scheduled for a day could be covered in a couple of hours. (That is, of course, if I would stop talking and asking questions and telling anecdotes.)

Today, I had my driving test. It went quite well. I got stuck in the snow at the side of the road, but that was good. I was able to ask questions and do it with someone watching. That is my biggest fear about driving one of these trucks - getting stuck. I hate being in the way and with a big truck, that is nearly impossible. I know with my car, I try and park where other people can park either in front or behind and I'm not blocking anybody. With this truck, I'll have to learn to just go. If I think I will get stuck, then I'll have to park more in the middle of the road. I will have to try and be arrogant.

I took the training so I can deliver Christmas parcels for overtime. Without the VOP, I wouldn't be allowed to. Eventually, everyone in Canada Post will have their own truck and deliver mail, parcels and pick up the mail in the street letter boxes in one area. Everyone will need a VOP then. I guess I'm just ahead of the curve.

I just had to post these pictures again. I posted them a long time ago. (sorry, I'm not going to find it for you. It will be right here anyway!) But I was looking for it to submit to http://www.bariatrictv.com/

It honestly shocked and saddened me. There is big burden in my heart for her. I don't recognize her anymore. It's only been a year.

I had to wear clothes that I could find that fit. I didn't have the budget (even then) to buy new clothes or order online. I bought what I could find at the consignment store. That particular shirt didn't fit me that well. My boobs were too small, but it fit around my belly. At the time I didn't think it looked that bad. I did the best I could. No wonder people say I am a fashion maven now.

I am going to have to post this pic up somewhere where I can see it everyday. I need to remember what I did to my mind, my body and my spirit. I didn't know I had a choice. I didn't know that the voices in my head could be silenced or ignored. Now I know they can.

finally!

Yesterday after church we finally took my 1 year photos. It was more like 1 year and 2.5 weeks since my surgery, but that's ok. These days the couple of weeks don't make much of a difference.

The first picture is kind of a funny face, but at least it's expressive. The side view is a little disturbing with my hair all crazy. But since I've lost more than half my hair, it does hold curl a lot better. In my previous life, there was no way I could throw in a few curls with my curling iron and have them stay for hours. It's kind of nice that way.

Who woulda thunk that a year and 2.5 weeks could make such a difference. I'm still astounded.

I'm starting to think about it becoming to look a lot like Christmas

Today, I finally assembled the gingerbread houses that I baked last week and mixed the week before. It has taken quite a while to get to this stage. Now, I only need to get all the little goodies to put on the houses. sigh. It just never seems to be done.

The kids have been starting to bug me about getting the Christmas decorations up. I don't mind having decorations, but I must admit to being a bit of a scrooge when it comes to decorating, parties, etc. around Christmas. It seems like so much for something that is over in a flash. A couple of years, we didn't even put up a tree. But now that my daughter knows what is going on, we wont' get away with that anymore.

We also won't get away with not buying them anything. When they were toddlers, we would wrap up some of their old toys and give it to them again. They didn't know the difference and had just as much fun as if it was new.

The last 2 months have been surrounded by talk of Christmas. Where we will go, what we will do, but mainly what presents they want. My daughter took the Michael's flyer last week and checked off the things she thought she would like. Then my son chimed it and said everything without a checkmark is what he wants. I'm trying to prepare them for the let down of only one toy, pj's and a book from us. My daughter reminded me that we have a big family and they will get them gifts too.

oh well. I'm trying.