Let them eat CAKE!

Yesterday was my son's birthday. He turned 4. I love watching them get older and "wiser". Alex is coming up with some pretty long words and sentences these days. It is cute watching him try to get all of those syllables out.

The plan was to have the family over for lunch and dessert and open presents. Everyone left by about 4pm or so. Lunch was chili and homemade biscuits with cake and ice cream for dessert.

The last few days, it has been hard to eat at meal time. I take a few bits and then it hurts, so I stop. I'm starting to worry that I will never be able to eat again! When I finally did get to eat yesterday - after feeding everyone else including my baby - my pureed chili wasn't feeling so good. I thought, "here we go again. 2 bites and that will be all I can have." I wasn't hungry. It's more akin to realizing I haven't eaten in a while and I really need to eat something now.

After I got up to do a couple of things, I came back to the chili, and this time, it went down real nice! I finished my 1/2 cup and could have had more. Up until then, I had been eyeing the cake. In the past, I could have eaten 2 or 3 pieces of cake with lots of icing and then eaten another 3 or 4 later that evening once everyone was gone. I knew I had to be careful, because I didn't want to dump in the middle of the party, but I had been eyeing the icing all day!

After my chili, I took a small - about 1 centimetre thick by 3 centimetre wide - edge piece for more icing. I started with the icing, then went to the cake. Eventually, I left about 1/2 of what I took on my plate. Not bad. I didn't feel sick at all. Of course, not feeling sick is both good and bad. Good because I don't feel like I"m going to keel over and die, but bad because now my mind is telling me I can have more. I did. I had a bite here, a lick there. I had more than I should have, but not enough to dump.

I knew it would show on the scale today. And it did. I find it amazing how over the course of a day, I can be moving non stop and only have about 500 caloried, but eat too many carbs and I will gain weight. Yesterday I gained .4 of a pound. It baffles my mind.

Oh well. I figure I'm down about 36 lbs from my highest. That's not too bad. But don't you dare let anyone tell you this is easy. 'Cause IT'S NOT!!