yippee!

Today is my 8 week birthday. I am down 57 pounds. That's not bad.

I have had a couple of Non-Scale Victories (NSV) in the last few days.

My mom gave me a size 22 pair of jeans that I had given her. I tried them on. And I could wear them! Now let me tell you that after 3 children, my body is not the same! Even if I am at the same weight, my body has put things in different places. I tend to store a lot of fat in my belly and since having kids, it seems to collect there even more. It was funny, because I could do up the button without any struggle, but to complete the zipper job, I had to lay down. I would have worn them out, but they are Capri's! And we all know that you can't wear Capri's in the winter. DUH!

The 2nd neat thing I have noticed is when I get in the van. I pile everyone in first, do up seat belts and then finally get in myself. As I get in, I look at the seat and think, "Oh, I don't think I will fit there. It looks too close to the steering wheel." I go anyway and then I fit! Yay! My belly doesn't even touch the steering wheel. It will be odd as I go forward and have increasing more room. This also relates to one of the reasons for me having surgery. Increasingly I wasn't fitting into standard situations - booths, clothes of the rack, vehicles, amusement park rides and my husband's very old truck. It was built for a man who has long legs and can reach the pedals without a problem. I have short, itty-bitty legs. I couldn't drive his truck because I couldn't get the seat close enough without my belly crashing into the wheel. Now, not that I really want to drive his truck, but it is nice to have the flexibility once in a while! I haven't tested it, but I figure I have another 30 or 40 pounds to go before I could really fit.

So, I have started my meds. I think it's a good idea for right now. I have spent the last few days very unmotivated and my house is paying for it.

so, what else?

I think Norm and I will start working out together in the mornings while Alex is at school. That should be good.

When will I remember to chew my food? I still forget and remember when it's already down the pipe and then promptly forget as I do the same thing with the next bite. CRAZY!

It's a crazy place in there!

My "loyal follower" left me a comment wondering about what I meant about Christians taking anti-depressants. Here, I'm just trying to clarify in my own mind why I think there could be a problem for Christians taking antidepressants. Here are some of my thoughts.

All I can come up with is that depression seems different to me than a broken leg. I have no problem taking Tylenol for a headache or if I did have a broken bone getting it set and taking pain medicine. When it comes to my mental health, that seems to be much more closely associated with spiritual health than physical health. If I truly depended on God and trusted Him with my entire life, then I would be mentally clear and refreshed and not depressed. And because I never feel like I have the type of relationship with God that I think I should have, I think that being closer will solve all my problems, which is what I have been taught: "Just trust Jesus with whatever you are going through."

Also, because it is inside my head, I'm never quite sure if it is a spiritual attack or a true medical condition. I know both can be true. How do I know in my case?!?!? I have these DVDs by Dr. Grant Mullen on depression. Maybe I need to go back to them and evaluate my own situation. He is a medical doctor, who is a Christian and exclusively deals with depression. He also believes in miraculous healing. It is really interesting because he has been given the gift of discernment to know which cases are spiritual oppression and which are medical. He claims to have heard demons speaking out of people and has also prayed for people to be release from this. Some of you may think he sounds like a nut job, but I have found him to be very balanced in his presentation of depression. He knows and understands the medical side and prescribes medication when appropriate, but he also incorporates his understanding of God into his practice. When my impression is that a lot of professionals (medical and otherwise) leave their faith at the door, he uses it daily to help him help others. Yes, I will have to check out the dvds again.

This has been good for me. I now know what I think. I think that if I am indeed depressed, then I need to go on the medication. I will also seek prayer and maybe even ask for healing. (That is hard for me. I believe that God can and does heal people. I'm afraid to ask, because what if he doesn't heal me? This is another question for another post, though.) This way I am not leaving God out of the equation and allowing him to use whatever means He chooses of getting me through this.

Now, off to Dr. Mullen's site to do his questionnaire!
http://www.drgrantmullen.com/the_pathway_selftests/index.html