overload

A few posts back, I posted about the gingerbread I made. I made quite a few gingerbread boys and what turned into 3 large delapidated gingerbread tenements. I was planning to decorate the houses before my son's 5 th birthday party, but the gingerbread boys were the "activity" at the party.

We have been so busy, that I never had the energy to get the houses done. My kids would ask and mommy would say, "no, not tonight. maybe tomorrow." Then it turned into "next week" then it turned into "Alex's party." One house got decorated at the party. The other 2 we ended up taking them to Alex's pre-school for them to decorate. That was 2 fold in its purpose: 1) to get the darn gingerbread out of our house and 2) to get the accompanying candy out of the house!

You see, being somewhat of a candy lover, I went a bit overboard. I think I bought somewhere close to $40 in bulk candy to do said decorations. That included 2 trips where I had to replace what we had eaten and buy things I forgot - like candy canes.

Being a candy lover, that was all I could think of for quite a while. I would think about it when I was on my way home from work: "I wonder which one I will eat tonight?" and then when I was at home eating it, I would have a few and then return for a few more and a few more. (I'm sure you know the drill.) I don't think I ever ate the entire bag of what I had bought, but I sure ate too much anyway.

I ate so much that today my weight was 175. That's up 3 lbs. I'm not impressed. But I am grateful that I made myself get on the scale even though I didn't want to. I need to know that my actions have consequences. I am also glad that I cannot eat with impunity. Even though I had surgery, and it will change some aspects of my eating for ever, from now on, I am mainly a normal sized person controlling her weight. What I eat does matter. Because my job is so active, I can eat more than if I was sedentary, but my job doesn't erase multiple trips to the pantry.

So, anyway, we took the extras to the preschool. But, they didn't use all the candy. So then we got it back. Today my husband suggested we take it to work. Posties will eat junk food like no tomorrow. I took it in this afternoon before my overtime shift.

I have to admit this sad truth: I am sad that I don't have any here to eat. Why did I have to take it to work already? If I had left it until tomorrow, I could have a snack tonight. Logically I know it is much better that it is at work, but emotionally, I want it here. I want it now! And knowing that it is not accessible makes me think about what else I can substitute for it. Anything with sugar will do.